VOLUME 38 ISSUE 28 7 AUGUST 2002
BEEP! BEEP! YER ASS...
Driving in my Cadillac, I was suprised to find a little Nash Rambler about a third my size riding right on my ass. Then he had the nerve to start honking his little toot of a horn. Beep! Beep! I figured I'd show him a thing or two, so I pushed my foot to the floor to give the guy a shake, but the guy stayed right there up my ass, like he had the brake on, or something. Damn, he had some guts!
I shoved the Caddy into passing gear and took off with a gust and we're soon doin' ninety and I figured I'd left him in the dust, but when I looked in my mirror, there he was, right behind me. That guy could fly! By now we're doing a hundred and ten. We were in a race. Letting a Rambler pass my Cadillac would be a big disgrace; but the guy must have wanted to pass me, he kept tooting his horn, Beep! Beep!
O.K. Now we're doing a hundred and twenty, as fast as I could go and
the Rambler pulled up right beside me, just like I was going slow, and
the guy rolled down his window and hollered in my ear, "Hey buddy! How
do I get this car out of second gear?"
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Then we took a corner and I side-swiped a truck, so I crossed my fingers
for good luck. I looked again and the guy beside me was white as a ghost.
We had flames coming out from the side and I could feel the tension; Man,
what a ride! Then I looked in the mirror and a red light was blinking and
the cops were after me; that's what I was thinking. Well they arrested
me and threw me in jail, so I called my daddy to bring me the bail. He
said, "Son, you're going to drive me to drink. Leave them little Nashes
alone; that's what I think."
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